Fall Primary Recruitment can be a stressful experience and even though it’s entirely online this year, that doesn’t remove the nerves or stress that you may feel before recruitment begins!
FALL PRIMARY RECRUITMENT 2020 is starting soon! Recruitment will be held entirely online this year, so some of the normal recruitment questions you may have (like what shoes to wear to be able to walk from house to house comfortably) are probably less relevant for this year.
However, there are still questions associated with sorority recruitment that you may still have. What should you talk about? How do you actually have genuine conversations with people you’ve met in such a short time frame? What shouldn’t you talk about?
Recruitment can seem overwhelming and the added stress of adapting to a completely new, online recruitment doesn’t help! Here’s a guide for you with some advice and answers to common recruitment questions to make the process a little less stressful.
Do You Need to be a Legacy or have a Reference?
No! You do not need to be a legacy of any chapter or have any references to go through recruitment at Cal! You are strongly encouraged to go through recruitment regardless of your experience with Greek life prior to coming to Cal. Some campuses may emphasize the importance of having references, but Cal is not one of those campuses.
If you’re wondering “what’s a legacy or a reference?”, I can answer that too! While every sorority will have a slightly different definition of who exactly counts as a legacy, a legacy is someone who is going through recruitment at a chapter where one or more of their family members was once (or currently is) an active member. A reference is a letter sent to a chapter at your school and written about you by an alumnae of that sorority. It serves a similar purpose to recommendation letters when applying for college; it’s another way for the sorority to get a fuller understanding of who you are. Again, at Cal, having a reference or being a legacy is not necessary to go through recruitment.
What Should You Avoid Talking About During Recruitment?
One of the most common questions that comes up with sorority recruitment is if there are certain subjects you cannot or should not talk about. You may or may not have heard of the “5 B’s” of recruitment—don’t worry if you haven’t! The “5 B’s” stand for “boys, booze, bucks, bible, Barack” and they’re supposed to represent the five topics you should avoid during recruitment.
The idea of the “5 B’s” is that these five topics in particular can quickly lead to an uncomfortable conversation. However, recruitment is supposed to be a time for you to talk about your passions and who you are to see which chapter is the best fit for you. It’s worth looking into each of these “5 B’s” to see why they exist and if they should really be “off limits” to bring up.
Boys
This is a very heteronormative way of saying “don’t talk about your partners during recruitment”. In general, if your entire conversation revolves around fraternity men or your/the recruiter’s past or present partners, you and the recruiter won’t really get to know each other beyond who you’re interested in. With that being said, if your partner comes up in conversation, don’t feel like you have to avoid talking about them or mentioning them just because this is one of the “5 B’s” —if it naturally flows into the conversation, it’s ok to bring up.
Photo by Miguel A. Padrinian from Pexels.
Booze
Of these five “taboo” topics, this is one to strictly adhere to . There isn’t any reason your conversations during recruitment should be about drinking habits or partying. If you’re wondering about how often the chapter you’re at “goes out” or “parties”, know that every chapter at Cal has women in it who like to go out and women who don’t like to go out. There’s no way that discussing drinking habits will be a comfortable conversation for either you or your recruiter. Avoid this one.
Bucks
This “B” means that you should avoid talking about money and that you should avoid asking your recruiter about the cost of joining their chapter. Your conversation should not be about money, it should be about your interests and hobbies and goals. The intention of this “B” is to avoid having a conversation that is superficial and just based on wealth.
In terms of the cost of joining each chapter, Panhellenic will provide you with information that has the cost of each sorority listed, so you don’t need to worry about asking your recruiter that question. If you’re wondering about the cost of joining a sorority and if it’s worth it, a good question to ask your recruiter is “why have you stayed in x chapter” or “what have you enjoyed the most about being in x chapter”. Money can be an uncomfortable topic, but it shouldn’t be “taboo”, especially for a system that has a high cost of entry. Try to use other resources, like your Recruitment Counselors or Panhellenic Council members, for money-related questions.
Bible
This one refers to discussing religion or religious beliefs. It’s unlikely that you and your recruiter will have the same view on religion or will even believe in the same religious ideals, so centering your discussion around religion can be uncomfortable. However, if you are involved in religious clubs on campus or you were involved in religious clubs in high school, you can mention them! Don’t feel like you have to keep activities you are involved in quiet simply because it’s about religion. Your recruiter wants to know who you are, what you care about, and what you’re involved in.
Barack
The “Barack” here refers to politics in general. It is generally suggested that you shouldn’t talk about politics during recruitment. However, Cal is a very politically active school—maybe that’s the reason you chose to come to Cal in the first place! It’s likely that you or your recruiter participated in a club, activity, college class, or something else “political” at some point. Similar to religion, if you participated in a club or are interested in a political major, you should mention that in your conversation. Don’t feel like you can’t talk about things you’ve been involved in just because it relates to politics. While recruitment is not the place to have political debates or have intense political discussions, mentioning that you’re really interested in the Political Science major or a “political” club at Cal because you’re passionate about politics is ok!
What else should you avoid talking about during recruitment? Avoid sharing your opinions about other chapters with recruiters. It’s uncomfortable for your recruiter if you tell them you liked or disliked other chapters you’ve had conversations at. Share your opinions or concerns about other chapters with your recruitment counselors or with members of the Panhellenic Council.
If you’re worried about other topics you want to bring up in conversation, a good rule of thumb is to ask yourself “if a total stranger asked me about x topic, would I feel uncomfortable?” if the answer is “yes” or “maybe,” then it’s probably not the best topic to bring up during recruitment. While you want to form genuine connections with the women you speak to, you will start off every conversation as complete strangers, so be mindful of what topics might be too personal.
What Should You Talk About During Recruitment?
Ideally, you should aim to have natural and genuine conversations with everyone you talk to, and you shouldn’t feel like you need to force certain conversation topics. However, having some topics or questions ready can help ease your nerves before recruitment begins. While recruitment will be different this year since it will be entirely online, a general rule of thumb for conversations is that your topics should get more personal with each round of recruitment.
Unity Day
The first round of recruitment is called “Unity Day” because you will be having conversations at every chapter participating in Fall Primary Recruitment. During the first part of recruitment, you will be speaking to multiple women from each chapter. The conversations will likely be short and more “surface level,” because you will be talking to so many people in a short period of time. This year, Unity Day will be held over two days via zoom on August 27th and 28th.
Plan on talking about:
- Your major
- Your hometown, and
- College plans
You’ll have this conversation so many times, they might actually blend together.
For this first round, share why you chose your major or why you chose to come to Cal. Even though the topics may be fairly “surface level,” by sharing your “why” for each of these general topics, you can share information about yourself and have a better conversation.
Sisterhood Day
The second round of recruitment is Sisterhood Day, which, in a normal year, consists of a house tour of each of the chapters you have been invited back to. This year, Sisterhood Day will be held over two days via zoom on August 29th and 30th. Even though you won’t be able to physically see chapter houses this year, Sisterhood Day is a good day to ask more sisterhood-related questions. This day is supposed to be about chapters showing you how their members interact with each other and for members to talk about the sisterhood activities their chapter partakes in.
Ask your recruiter about:
- Her favorite memories with her sisters
- Fun activities the chapter organizes for members,
- What living in the chapter house is like (if your recruiter has experience living in)
If you’re looking for topics to discuss about yourself, talk about
- Things you like to do in your free time
- Extracurriculars you were/are involved in, and
- Your passions and goals.
You may have briefly discussed some of these topics during Unity Day, but you will likely be talking to new people and you can share more details during this round.
Philanthropy Day
The third round of recruitment is Philanthropy Day, which, in a normal year, consists of a presentation about the philanthropic cause each chapter is dedicated to. This year, Philanthropy Day will be held over two days via zoom on August 31st and September 1st. Since this round of recruitment is centered around philanthropic causes, it’s a great time to talk about any causes you have been involved with or are passionate about. You may not have any personal connection with a chapter’s philanthropy, but you can talk about how the passion the chapter showed for their philanthropy is like the passion you have for whatever cause you care about.
Photo by Aline Viana Prado from Pexels.
Preference Night
The fourth and final round of recruitment is Preference Night. This year, Preference Night will be held via zoom on September 2nd. You will be having conversations with members of your final one or two chapters.
- Ask your recruiter why they joined and what they’ve loved about their chapter. They’ll likely share a much deeper story than during any other round of recruitment.
- You can share how your recruitment process has been (without speaking negatively about any other chapters, of course).
- Share why you decided to go through recruitment and what you hope to gain from joining a sorority.
Even though Preference Night can carry the pressure of having a “deep” conversation, don’t feel pressured to share anything too personal if you’re not comfortable.
Photo by Hannah Nelson from Pexels.
In Conclusion
Fall Primary Recruitment can be a stressful experience, but don’t let it deter you from joining a sorority at Cal! Hopefully these conversation ideas can help put your mind at ease before recruitment and can give you some ideas of what to expect during each round of recruitment. Don’t feel like you must incorporate any of these topics into your conversations – they’re simply some ideas and guides to help you feel less nervous! Personally, I’ve even had great conversations entirely about TV shows that I liked and had in common with the woman I was speaking with. You might end up connecting with your recruiter about something totally random, and that’s great! Know that your recruiter will ask you questions and direct the conversation a certain way, so just be yourself and let the conversation flow naturally!
If you’re interested in learning more about Fall Primary Recruitment 2020, check out the Cal Panhellenic YouTube channel where they have uploaded their info sessions with more information about recruitment and fall 2020 greek life. For more general information about Cal Panhellenic sororities, check out the Cal PHC instagram @calphc and the Cal PHC website, calphc.com.
